Wheaton Unicorn Kitty Versus John Scalzi Orc

My wonderful wife and I often conclude a rather improbable, highly entertaining or four sigma to the right of center story with “You just can’t make this shit up.” For instance: What if Wil Wheaton, recently joining the ranks of my favorite authors, was riding a unicorn kitten (not a unicorn chaser, mind you, but you get the idea) and attacking sci-fi favorite author John Scalzi who had morphed into an orc? And of course, there’s a volcano in the background, WoW-style weaponry, the kitten is flying Pegasus-style, and that sweater is involved.

Scalzi looks like the love child of Shrek and Glee’s Sue Sylvester on a bad Cheerios hair day. And I’m not saying that just for the Google hits on Glee searches gone horribly randomly wrong, although it helps.

Don’t believe me? There’s (generated) photographic proof right here. You just can’t make this shit up.

Actually, you can.

Wheaton and Scalzi are promoting a fan fiction contest to benefit the Lupus Alliance of America. Just (it’s always “just”) explain the picture. This is just so good on so many levels that it makes up for the extreme randomness of the picture, and welcomes second and third derivative cultural references. It’s conceiveable that some entries will maim the judges’ artistic sensibilities, permanently.

You bet I’m entering. I have had a sci-fi story idea kicking around for several months, and never had the right framing for it. The trick will be keeping it to 2,000 words.

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